A fittingly simple funeral for a larger than life lady

All Saint’s Church in Ockham is a spectacularly beautiful church, recently refurbished but still keeping many of the gorgeous period features. It’s history dates back 1000 years, with the earliest part of the church building being from the 12th century, and boasting a Rysbrack sculpture, only usually found in Westminster Abbey! 

It seemed fitting that Patricia’s service of celebration was in such a beautiful space, her home church. I very much enjoy hearing about the lives of each person I sing for; Pat was painted as a joyous, friendly, generous lady, with a love for gardening and vintage cars, having had a colourful life that was perhaps unusual for a female of her time. Her family chose 4 songs all together, 3 of which reflected her love of nature. Elgar’s ‘Nimrod’ accompanied her entrance. Being a British composer, Elgar’s music always reminds me of the English countryside. There is something so grand and final about this piece; it seems to deliver the gratitude of life and the magnitude of death in one. 

The funeral service began with prayers and the eulogy. For a period of reflection, ’Morning Has Broken’ was my first piece, and the family chose for it to be a solo rather than a congregational hymn. The friends and family had some time to reflect on the words, Pat’s love for gardening and importantly, not worry about filling the church with their voices. 

After the reading of Ecclesiastes 3: 1-3, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens,” and the vicar’s address, we heard a poem, ‘Afterglow’

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.

I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.

I’d like to leave an echo, whispering softly down the ways,

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun

Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

 

‘I Believe’ – an uplifting song for funerals

Following this, was my second solo, ‘I Believe’ – another song with the theme of nature, made famous by Frankie Laine and more recently Michael Ball and Alfie Boe. “I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows.” I love the message of hope in the midst of sadness and grief.

Patricia’s coffin was carried out to Peter and Pat’s favourite song from their teens, and indeed the first vinyl they bought together: ‘See You Later, Alligator’ by Bill Haley and His Comets. It was a lovely upbeat end to the curated service that shone a light on the fun loving relationship they shared, and pointed towards the day they would meet again in eternity.

 

The importance of feeling comfortable

My take aways from singing at this service of celebration for Pat’s life were that funerals don’t need to be long to say everything that needs to be said. More eulogies were written in the order of service for those who didn’t want to speak on the day, and this in some ways has more of a lasting impact than spoken eulogies. Most of all, everyone felt comfortable. It was a perfect tribute for where the family were at and the people they are. And an honour for me to be able to provide a musical accompaniment to their goodbyes. 

 

Some details you might find helpful to know

For this service of celebration, I sang Morning Has Broken with the lovely 80 year old organist who was a joy to make music with! For ‘I Believe’, I sang with a backing track. There was no need for any microphones as we were in a lovely acoustic church. I did bring my small PA system to play the backing tracks; I took care of playing Nimrod and See You Later, Alligator through my system. This works really well because it takes the pressure off the church to play the right songs at the time and volume – I take care of it all for you. I also sang with the organist before the service, Pie Jesu and The Lord Bless You And Keep You.

If you are interested in having me sing at your loved one’s funeral in Surrey, London or anywhere in the South East of England, you can drop me a line at funeralsingersurrey@gmail.com. It is an honour to help families own these difficult days.